GrimmIchi Texts
by Recklessly Impulsive
Summary: Random texts exchanged between Grimmjow and Ichigo. Ratings vary. M to be safe.
1. Carrots

_GrimmIchi Texts_

_Grimmjow:_ _Hey, babe. Can you pick up some carrots on the way home? _

_Why?_

_I want to fuck you with a carrot. _

_The fuck is wrong with you? Why the hell do you want to do that?_

_Because I'm gonna bring carrot top to life._

_Asshole. _

_Love you._


	2. Milk

_GrimmIchi Texts_

Milk

Ichigo: _Did you forget to give the cat some milk?_

_Maybe. But I won't forget to give you some. _

_Charming. _

_You know you love it._

_Charming. _

_Don't pretend it doesn't turn you on. You're probably pitching a tent in your class right now.. _

_Chrminh. _

_Knew it. ;)_

_I hat you!_

_You're tipping your hat to me? Thanks! See you later. _


	3. Dicks Over Breasts

_GrimmIchi Texts_

Dicks Over Breasts 

Ichigo: _Be serious for once in your life, Grimmjow._

_I'll try. For you, I will try. _

_Good. Okay, so, Orihime told me today that she's been in love with me for the past four years. _

_And?_

_What do you mean and? What the fuck am I supposed to do now?_

_Tell me something the whole world didn't know about? _

_Stop being an asshole! You said you'd be serious. _

_I am being serious. The world knows. She even tagged you on Facebook in that post about a guy she was in love with. Maybe you need to get serious?_

_I thought she tagged me because I was with her in that moment! _

_Well, at least she finally said it. When are you going to let her down easy with the information that you prefer massive dicks to big breasts? ;) _

_You're worse than the devil! _

_Snapchat me your face right now! _

_No. _

_Please? _

_No._

_Why not?_

_You don't need me to show you how red it is! _

_Guess you're right. The mental image is more than enough._


	4. Ichi-Ichi-Ichi

_GrimmIchi Texts_

Ichi-Ichi-Ichi

Grimmjow: _Ichi-Ichi-Ichi! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ahhh! _

_Are you drunk?_

_Yeah. It took me three minutes to type that. A minute to type this! _

_Go to bed. _

_Join meeeeeeeeee!_

_No._

_U dont hav a choice! _

_Why's that? _

_Im at ur door! ;) _


	5. Catherine-Wheel

_GrimmIchi Texts_

Catherine-Wheel

Ichigo: _I'd like to try the Catherine-Wheel tonight! _

_You wanna try something from the Karma Sutra? How drunk are you?_

_No, you fucking moron. Catherine-Wheel is a firework. _

_We could make it a part of the Karma Sutra! ;)_

_When you figure out how to fuck me while we spin, go for it. _

_Hm. We could always just go down to the park and I could spin that thing the kids play on, then hop on and fuck you as it turns. _

_Please tell me you forgot to add a question mark? _

_No, we're doing this! _


	6. Kinky

_GrimmIchi Texts_

Kinky

Grimmjow: _Why am I in your sister's bed?_

_You said it would be kinky to fuck in her room. I told you we could go as far as her floor. You passed out, so I put you in her bed. Get out before she comes home from her school trip. _

_I love you, Ichi. _

_I know. _


	7. Married

_GrimmIchi Texts_

Married 

Grimmjow: _Did you know Rukia was married? _

_Yeah. You were married. What's the big deal?_

_Fuck you. Getting married is like the perquisite to gamble in Vegas. _

_Mhm. And how is your sister?_

_Would you fuck off? _

_Nah. I'm gonna get as much as I can in before you ruin me later._

_Good for you. _

_I try. _


	8. I Don't Share

_GrimmIchi Texts_

I Don't Share

Ichigo: _Can we introduce someone else to the bedroom that I can spoon after we finish? _

_What the fuck?_

_You know, someone I can play with afterwards. Someone I can curl up against and pet for a while until we both fall asleep?_

_Ichigo, I don't know what the fuck you're playing at, but I don't share. _

_I'm gonna call him Cuddles and snuggle with him all night long! He might wake up on top of me in the morning! Wouldn't that be adorable? Then I'd stroke him and make him happy. _

_This isn't funny, Ichigo! _

_Relax. I'm talking about a cat. _

_I know, Ichi. I'm not stupid. I'm still not sharing you. _

_I'm getting a cat, Grimmjow. _

_No, you're not. _

_Yes I am! I want a cat. _

_Fine, you can get a blind cat, whose way past his prime that won't get excited when you stroke it. _

_That's not what I want! You're not being fair. _

_That's all you can have, Ichi. Take it or leave it._


	9. You Forgot To Turn the Lights Off

_GrimmIchi Texts _

You Forgot To Turn the Lights Off

Ichigo:_ Hey, Grimmjow. _

_What have I done now? _

_Why did you immediately assume something was up?_

_Because you used my name instead of Grimm, why else? _

_Makes sense. Anyway, you have done something wrong, actually. _

_I have? Pray tell?_

_Don't be an ass! It's nothing that'll take your manhood away. _

_Thank fuck for that. The thought of not being buried inside your ass is too painful. _

_Hmm. Not sure my ass is as thrilled I won't be castrating you._

_Shut up. You love it. And me. :P _

_Right, right. So, you left the FUCKING LIGHTS ON._

_All of them? _

_Yes. Idiot. You go on holiday and leave all the lights on. _

_Oh. Sorry. I guess I forgot... Whoops. _

_Damn right! Moron. You know that I pay for the electric, right? _

_I'm aware. I totally forgot. I'm sorry. _

_Sorry isn't always good enough, Grimmjow. It's not like I'm going to hold it against you. I'm just pissed is all. _

_Don't worry, Ichi. When I get back, I'll give you that massage you like that I hate doing because it's so hard not to jump you when you make noises like that. _

_Um. Okay. Yeah. Let's do that. Have a good trip, Grimm. :)_

_I will. Love ya'. ;) _

_Love you, too, you big blue-berry. _

_Hush now, Strawberry. Daddy needs his rest. _

_Oh, shit. Forgot it was four in the morning there. Ja ne. _


	10. Can't Text Right Now

_GrimmIchi Texts _

Can't Text Right Now

Grimmjow: _Hey, what's up, Ichi?_

_Can't text right now. I'm at the club._

_Yeah, who you with?_

_Rukia. _

_What club?_

_Vasto Lorde._

_Why?_

_Fancied a night out._

_Why you being so short with me? _

_Because I said I can't text right now. Pay more attention, douche._

_Okay, okay. Don't be such a dick about it, Ichi. _

_I'm not._

_Kinda are._

_Whatever._

_Seriously, who shoved a stick up your ass? _

_Probably you._

_Haha. No, for real, Ichigo. What the fuck is up?_

_Drunk._

_Oh. Makes sense. Okay, alcoholic, just remember you have a key this time - I'm not paying for a new door window again. _

_Fair. See ya' later. I'll be up for it, so hold your pre-sleep masturbation. I'll want you to finish in me tonight. ;)_

_You little fucker!_

_Say hey to Grimm Jr! I love him the most. _

_Not true and you know it. :P_

_Perhaps. _


	11. Alternatives To Sex

_GrimmIchi Texts_

Alternatives To Sex

Grimmjow: _Hurry up and finish work so we can have sex. _

_The clock can only go so fast, Grimm. If you think about it too much, it will only take longer for me to finish. _

_You've said that before. But that was during sex. Hence my dilemma. :( _

_There are plenty of alternatives to sex._

_Have you had sex with yourself? I don't think there is. _

_You know alternative means other things you could do, right?_

_Yes, smart ass. I'm not stupid. _

_Could of fooled me._

_Whatever. So, brain box, do you have any alternatives for me? _

_Sure. Here's a list: read a book; go for a jog; masturbate; watch TV; watch porn while jacking off; go out for a drink with a friend; fantasize while pulling it; eat something, etc. _

_You mentioned masturbating in three different ways. I'm starting to think you're having more trouble coping than I am, Ichi. ;)_

_No, no. This is your list. That has nothing to do with it._

_Don't lie to yourself now, Berry. You just miss my cock. Admit it. _

_No, I won't admit it because it isn't true. _

_By the way, Ichi._

_What?_

_How are you textiing me back so quickly if you're working?_

_I'm on a temporary break._

_In the bathroom?_

_Maybe. _

_Ha! I knew it. You're so jerking off right now to the thought of me. ;D _

_Fuck off. No, I'm not. _

_Sorry, when I said 'quickly' earlier, I meant faster than usual during work hours. You're using one hand to text. Liar. :P_

_Fine. You caught me. I'll try and cut the next meeting short. _

_Nah. That's okay. I can wait. The thought of you unable to control yourself at work is incentive enough. _


End file.
